Cereal, New iPad game, Snuggling Giraffe

Guess which cute little 5 month old baby boy is eating cereal?!?!? Unfortunately, I don't feel like Tripp is gaining weight like he should. At his 4 month appt, he weighed 15 lbs 3 oz. Last night I weighed myself and then weighed myself holding him. He weighed exactly 15 lbs. Now I know that different scales, will give different results and that it would probably be a few oz off, however he should have gained a significant amount of weight in the last month. So I called the doctor and he encouraged me to start solid foods. So here we are. This is the same time that we started solids, for the same reason, with Kaycee. It must be a problem with my supply around 4 months. 

Daddy brought home an iPad game for Kaycee. It's a music game where she touches the shapes on the screen and it plays different music sounds. She really enjoys it, as you can tell from the pictures. 

Tonight I caught Kaycee snuggling giraffee on the monitor camera while she sleeps. Pretty much the cutest thing ever! 

Swimming

Kaycee and I went swimming today. She loves the water and so do I. She's getting much more comfortable in the water, she even went down the slide, once. She loves to walk away from me in the water, which is great that she's not afraid, but scary that I'm not holding on to her. She usually likes to play in the shallow 0 depth section with the fountains. She's not a huge fan of all the parts that splash water at her. It was so funny when she would walk out of the 0 depth part and then walk back in until her feet were wet. She would then sit down and scoot in like she was getting in the deep end. At least she's trying to be safe! 

Snuggling kind of Day

Today I started making arrangements for some of the medical equipment to be picked up. That was about all I could emotionally do. It was a snuggly kind of day and I spent most of it playing with Kaycee and snuggling! 

Funeral Day

Today was hard. I gave a Eulogy during the services that I cried through. Jamey played a violin piece that was beautiful. A big thank you to Alaina for keeping my kids in the nursery during the service and for all our friends and family that came out to support us. It was hard to explain to Kaycee what was going on. She did get a chance to say goodbye before the service started where she asked me why Grammy was sleeping and if she could hold her hand. Then during the part where they put her casket in the Mausoleum wall, she was completely confused. I don't think she understands all that's going on, and frankly I don't really either. I just miss Grammy. 

Here's my Eulogy. 

Dear Grammy,

I miss you.

I miss your smile, the way it always made me smile too. You were always happy. I don’t remember any time where you were upset with me. You never complained about what I cooked or what I brought you to wear. You never said 1 negative thing about the way I took care of you. You didn’t even get mad when Kaycee painted your room green. Not when she dumped paint on the floor and left green footprints leading to bathroom, or when she painted the chair you were sitting on, or even when she painted you. Instead you smiled.

I miss your love, the way it poured out to my children. Whenever Kaycee ran into your room, your face lit up. Kaycee loves you. She loved hugging you and playing with you. I often heard Kaycee yell “Momma, Grammy lap, Grammy lap,” when she couldn’t climb onto your lap herself. Or when Kaycee was learning to crawl and she was on all fours in your room; you cheered for her as she crawled towards her toy. Or every time I brought Tripp into your room, you would talk to him and coo at him to make him smile. You loved my babies.

I miss your quirky conversations and jokes that always made me laugh. I miss spending time in your room talking with you about what your life was like in the past. I miss looking through photo albums, with you explaining the details of the pictures. I miss eating dinner with you at the dining room table and watching Matlock with you in your room. I miss wheeling you in the wheelchair to the park to watch the kids play. I miss shopping with you for my birthdays and picking blackberries in your backyard. I miss Easter egg hunts in your house and Christmas dinners at your table. I just miss you.

Thank you Grammy for being my Grandma. I love you.

Jenny

Dear Jesus,

Please give Grammy a hug for me. I didn’t hug her enough or hold her hand enough when she was here. Please tell her that I love her and that I miss her. Please give her an extra something special in Heaven for being my grandma, she deserves it. Please take care of her for me; feed her chocolate, she likes York Peppermint Patties the best. Please tell her I’ll see her in again, one day. But if I need to talk to her before that, will you pass along the message? I’m sure she’s happy with you Jesus, I just miss her.

Jenny

More Arrangements

Mom and Dad came over again to help with the photo boards for the funeral. Mom and I went through all the photos we could find in the house. She told me about all the people in the pictures and all the events she remembered. There were a lot of pictures of us kids visiting their house and a bunch of pictures of the family at this house. It was great to see some pictures of Grammy making funny faces or high school senior pictures or Grammy playing with her grandkids or family portraits. I miss her.

Tripp's New Shoes, More arrangements, Mexican Dinner

I finished Tripp's new shoes today. It's been super fun to make things for the kiddos. I'm loving crocheting! 

Mom and Dad came over today and we worked on more arrangements for the funeral. When they left, I didn't have enough brain cells left to think about dinner so Anthony took me out for Mexican. I'm super thankful for all the support he has given me. I just wish this wasn't happening. 

(Getting rid of Grammy's medications)

We Love You Grammy

About 3:30am Tripp woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep. Anthony went into tend to him and after a while I went in to see if I could help. Finally, we brought the swing into his room and let him swing the rest of the night. Because I was awake already, I went into Grammy's room and rolled her to the other side, plus gave her some pain medication. I was able to adjust the monitor so I could see her face. By the time I left, she was peacefully sleeping. Later that morning when I woke up at 7am, I looked at the monitor and knew. Grammy had gone home to be with Jesus. I'm thankful that my children weren't awake yet and that gave me some time to make the necessary phone calls. I called hospice and they sent out a Chaplin to confirm, I called my dad to pick up my mom and I called Anthony. Anthony originally was not going to come home, but he did, which was exactly what I needed. Molly came over and took Kaycee out for donuts while we met with the Chaplin. DJ came and took Kaycee to the church building to play while the funeral director came and took the body. We spent the rest of the day talking with Brian at church, meeting with the funeral director and the funeral home and meeting with the pastor at Grammy's church to work out all the details of the funeral. It was a long tiring and exhausting day. Susie ordered us pizza for dinner, which was super helpful. The whole day was a blur, I'm so sad. 

Molly's Birthday Cake, Small Group

We spent most of our day playing in Grammy's room. Kaycee and I talked to her and told her all about what we were playing. I think Grammy knew we were there. Many times I would talk to her and she would have a slight reaction, either verbally or with her eyes. She did sleep most of the day, but we were there holding her hand anyway. 

I made Molly and Christina a birthday cake for small group tonight. We did go to small group and Julie came and sat with Grammy. It was such a blessing to be able to leave the house and let Julie have some time with her. I truly appreciate everything Julie did for Grammy! 

Baskets, Grammy's Home

I finished my last basket today. I'm super excited about how awesome they look in Tripp's room. They're perfect, I don't think I could have bought something as great! 

We brought Grammy home today. She has had no change since Thursday when she was taken to Hospice in the hospital. Mom and I met with staff at the hospital and talked over all the risks and benefits of taking her home. She always wanted to die at home and previously the hospital wasn't willing to transport her home. They are now, so we brought her home. I left the hospital to be at home when the equipment was delivered and to make room for her to come home. This afternoon the ambulance arrived and the paramedics brought her in on a stretcher. Unfortunately, they wouldn't be able to get the stretcher through the tight corner into the kitchen, so they had to transfer Grammy to a chair and wheel her through the house. Once they did that they were able to get her into her bed safely. I'm so happy to have her home. Later on the Hospice nurse came out and helped me rearrange Grammy and taught me all the things I would need to do to make her as comfortable as possible. She got all the medications ready and answered all my questions. I feel better knowing that I can make her as comfortable as possible, but a little nervous that I won't know when to give her the right medications. Because she can't tell me what's hurting her and I'm worried I won't recognize the symptoms. But I'll do my best! I'm just so happy to have her home where she wanted to be!